me & my mom

It's interesting how often I have thought about the similarities between my mom & I since I moved here 7 years ago. Among many other things, we both ventured off to far away lands with the intention of staying only about 2 years.

At the moment, though, the similarities run a bit deeper.

When my mom was pregnant with me, her mom in Germany became very sick. Sadly she died when my mom was about 7 months along and unable to travel. My mom wasn't able to see her before she passed away and couldn't attend her funeral.

With everything that has happened with Eddye, I think I might understand how difficult that was for her. For me, it's not going to be totally real until I go there next Christmas and feel that gap firsthand. Similarly, it wasn't until my mom visited her mom's grave and experienced Vreden, her hometown, without her mother's presence that it really hit home.

Sometimes I think we are living parallel lives.

(pure sadness)

Eddye sadly passed away at about 3:30 in the morning on Thursday, 14 December (EST). He went peacefully with Lisa, his two older boys, his parents, and one of his brothers by his side.

To say he will be missed doesn't accurately describe the hole in all of our hearts.

Here is a link to an article about him in the Cincinnati Enquirer...
Eddye Adarve, soccer coach and promoter

A few misprints... It says "it was unclear what he was doing on the roof" which sounds weird. He was doing routine household cleanup and was just on a flat second story roof. It also says he fell to another roof which is wrong. He fell on a concrete walkway below. And Lucia is not 6-weeks-old; she was 5-weeks-old when the accident happened and is now about 17-weeks-old.

A very beautiful tribute to a very humble man.

His infectious smile will forever be imprinted on my brain.

wow, who knew?

Over 200 people turned out for the candlelight vigil! Amazing. Eddye is a quiet guy who definitely never sang his own praises, so it was unreal, even to those close to him, how many lives he affected.

There were heaps of neighbors, friends, and relatives, but kids made up a huge number of the crowd. Eddye was a great soccer coach. It was his passion and he always went above and beyond, even for neighborhood teams of 5-year-olds. I mean how many people can even remember the name of their coach when they were 5? He coached his older boys' teams over the years and also a high school team of international students. At the vigil, the high school students asked everyone in the crowd who had ever been on one of Coach Eddye's teams to gather around. Knowing that Eddye always encouraged younger siblings to come and join practices too, my sister asked anyone who ever practiced with one of Eddye's teams to also join in, and the crowd of soccer players pretty much doubled. They did team cheers for Coach Eddye. What a tribute to a man passionate about his soccer.

It was an evening that will always mean so much to Lisa and her children. Knowing that Eddye made such a difference has to be a comfort to them. The kids should be very proud of their Papa.

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Eddye's parents and brother arrived from Columbia last night. It seemed Eddye was fading--taking fewer and fewer breaths each minute. But somehow he's still holding on. The doctors just don't get it. He has too much to leave behind. Only his heart and his will remain strong.

candlelight vigil for Eddye (you can never have too many candles)

Way back when, Eddye always gave me grief about all the candles I owned. I once defended my collection, saying in a very serious tone, "you can never have too many candles." Since then, most of them melted while living in New Orleans, but anyway, that became a phrase he repeated to me on many occasions. Just a random, dumb joke we shared.

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A candlelight vigil is being held outside my sister's home on Tuesday evening at 7 pm. Friends and family from around the world are joining together in this vigil. Candles will be burning tomorrow evening at 7 pm (EST) (1 pm Wednesday NZ time) in North and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania . If you cannot be with us in person, please join us in spirit by lighting a candle and having a moment's silence or saying a prayer for God's mercy and peace on Eddye, Lisa and their children.

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels and saints charge over those who sleep.
Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ,
rest your weary ones,
bless your dying ones,
soothe your suffering ones,
pity your afflicted ones,
shield your joyous ones.
And all for your love's sake.
Amen.

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A bit of a catch up...

It became clear last week that Eddye's organs were failing and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. My sister decided to bring Eddye home to peacefully live out his final days surrounded by his loved ones. He arrived home Friday night and has been resting peacefully since. He is being cared for around the clock by hospice nurses. My family is also there offering Lisa and the kids much-needed support. It is very comforting for her and the boys to have him home with them, at least for a little while.

not the update i'd like to be giving

On Saturday, Eddye was discharged from the acute care facility to a nursing home because he did not meet the criteria for rehabilitation. Upon arrival at the nursing home it was apparent that they were unable to give him the care he needs. He was spiking a fever and within 2 hours of his arrival he was transfered to the hospital where he began 10 weeks ago. He remains in a coma, is on full dialysis, is unresponsive, has lost significant weight, and continues to fight multiple infections (both old and new). My sister and her family really need your thoughts and prayers.