one year on

{remember}

me & my mom

It's interesting how often I have thought about the similarities between my mom & I since I moved here 7 years ago. Among many other things, we both ventured off to far away lands with the intention of staying only about 2 years.

At the moment, though, the similarities run a bit deeper.

When my mom was pregnant with me, her mom in Germany became very sick. Sadly she died when my mom was about 7 months along and unable to travel. My mom wasn't able to see her before she passed away and couldn't attend her funeral.

With everything that has happened with Eddye, I think I might understand how difficult that was for her. For me, it's not going to be totally real until I go there next Christmas and feel that gap firsthand. Similarly, it wasn't until my mom visited her mom's grave and experienced Vreden, her hometown, without her mother's presence that it really hit home.

Sometimes I think we are living parallel lives.

(pure sadness)

Eddye sadly passed away at about 3:30 in the morning on Thursday, 14 December (EST). He went peacefully with Lisa, his two older boys, his parents, and one of his brothers by his side.

To say he will be missed doesn't accurately describe the hole in all of our hearts.

Here is a link to an article about him in the Cincinnati Enquirer...
Eddye Adarve, soccer coach and promoter

A few misprints... It says "it was unclear what he was doing on the roof" which sounds weird. He was doing routine household cleanup and was just on a flat second story roof. It also says he fell to another roof which is wrong. He fell on a concrete walkway below. And Lucia is not 6-weeks-old; she was 5-weeks-old when the accident happened and is now about 17-weeks-old.

A very beautiful tribute to a very humble man.

His infectious smile will forever be imprinted on my brain.

wow, who knew?

Over 200 people turned out for the candlelight vigil! Amazing. Eddye is a quiet guy who definitely never sang his own praises, so it was unreal, even to those close to him, how many lives he affected.

There were heaps of neighbors, friends, and relatives, but kids made up a huge number of the crowd. Eddye was a great soccer coach. It was his passion and he always went above and beyond, even for neighborhood teams of 5-year-olds. I mean how many people can even remember the name of their coach when they were 5? He coached his older boys' teams over the years and also a high school team of international students. At the vigil, the high school students asked everyone in the crowd who had ever been on one of Coach Eddye's teams to gather around. Knowing that Eddye always encouraged younger siblings to come and join practices too, my sister asked anyone who ever practiced with one of Eddye's teams to also join in, and the crowd of soccer players pretty much doubled. They did team cheers for Coach Eddye. What a tribute to a man passionate about his soccer.

It was an evening that will always mean so much to Lisa and her children. Knowing that Eddye made such a difference has to be a comfort to them. The kids should be very proud of their Papa.

---

Eddye's parents and brother arrived from Columbia last night. It seemed Eddye was fading--taking fewer and fewer breaths each minute. But somehow he's still holding on. The doctors just don't get it. He has too much to leave behind. Only his heart and his will remain strong.

candlelight vigil for Eddye (you can never have too many candles)

Way back when, Eddye always gave me grief about all the candles I owned. I once defended my collection, saying in a very serious tone, "you can never have too many candles." Since then, most of them melted while living in New Orleans, but anyway, that became a phrase he repeated to me on many occasions. Just a random, dumb joke we shared.

---

A candlelight vigil is being held outside my sister's home on Tuesday evening at 7 pm. Friends and family from around the world are joining together in this vigil. Candles will be burning tomorrow evening at 7 pm (EST) (1 pm Wednesday NZ time) in North and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania . If you cannot be with us in person, please join us in spirit by lighting a candle and having a moment's silence or saying a prayer for God's mercy and peace on Eddye, Lisa and their children.

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels and saints charge over those who sleep.
Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ,
rest your weary ones,
bless your dying ones,
soothe your suffering ones,
pity your afflicted ones,
shield your joyous ones.
And all for your love's sake.
Amen.

---

A bit of a catch up...

It became clear last week that Eddye's organs were failing and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. My sister decided to bring Eddye home to peacefully live out his final days surrounded by his loved ones. He arrived home Friday night and has been resting peacefully since. He is being cared for around the clock by hospice nurses. My family is also there offering Lisa and the kids much-needed support. It is very comforting for her and the boys to have him home with them, at least for a little while.

not the update i'd like to be giving

On Saturday, Eddye was discharged from the acute care facility to a nursing home because he did not meet the criteria for rehabilitation. Upon arrival at the nursing home it was apparent that they were unable to give him the care he needs. He was spiking a fever and within 2 hours of his arrival he was transfered to the hospital where he began 10 weeks ago. He remains in a coma, is on full dialysis, is unresponsive, has lost significant weight, and continues to fight multiple infections (both old and new). My sister and her family really need your thoughts and prayers.

he certainly is a fighter...

Eddye remains in serious condition in the ICU at the acute care facility. He is still in a coma but is showing some evidence of "waking up"...a very slow and gradual process. He is opening his eyes, holding a gaze, tracking sound, yawning, coughing, moving his mouth, and responding to pain. However, he is not yet responding to commands which is a concern. The sooner he does, the better the prognosis.

He has pneumonia and is still dependent on the ventilator and remains on full dialysis. There are no plans in the near future for repairing all his broken bones.

Reportedly he has at least some vision in both eyes and is hearing at level 2 on a scale of 1 to 5.

His brain damage is sadly pretty extensive, so this recovery process will be a long one.

cause for optimism

Eddye has been fairly stable for the last week-and-a-half. They haven't found any evidence of the fungal infection, which had been one of the major causes for concern a week or so ago. Also many of his bacterial infections have already or are clearing.

He still remains in a coma and very sick, however they hope to wean him from the ventilator in the coming days. A move to an acute care facility seems to be around the corner.

Finally, a bit of good news.

pride

I think this photo might be in the dictionary next to the word "proud".

This photo was taken in 1997 on Max's first Christmas, but Eddye is the one who looks as excited as a little boy on Christmas morning!

update: Eddye underwent emergency surgery last night on his sinuses to clear up an absess and infection. He continues to surprise everyone as he pulled through the surgery well. However, he remains in a coma, in critical condition, and on full dialysis (a result of the treatment for the fungal infection in his stomach).

waiting for good news

I love this photo. It is of my nephew, Norwin, showing his parents and one of his brothers some of the loot he scored at the annual pirate treasure hunt that my family has at my parent's lakehouse. Notice the scars on his face, the temporary tattoos on his arm, and the lollipop in his mouth. I love it!

I have six nephews and now one niece who have their birthdays at the end of summer (August/September), so it's fitting to combine the treasure hunt with a joint birthday celebration. All the kids get so decked out in costume. And one of my brothers-in-law and his three grown daughters make up this elaborate pirate story and a cool treasure hunt. One of them dresses as the pirate and seriously goes all out.

Last year I was lucky enough to be in town for it. It's always such a fun day.

Unfortunately no significant updates on Eddye. He remains in a coma and continues to fight the bacterial infections as well as a very rare fungal infection in his stomach. We need some good news this week.

precious

( a precious moment in time )

if only we could turn back the clock

It's been just over two weeks and my brother-in-law remains in a coma and is battling many infections. His condition is still critical. This is just so devastating for my sister and her children.

The support from family, friends, and her community has been amazing.

when 6,000 miles feels like 6 million

i have never wanted to be someplace else more than right now.

how quickly life can change

A week ago my family experienced a terrible tragedy. My sister's husband fell off the roof of his house, suffered a serious brain injury as well as many broken bones, and is in a coma.

He and my sister have a six-week-old baby girl. They also have 11-, 9-, and 2-year-old boys. Six years ago they already learned all of life's hard lessons... that life isn't fair, that life often doesn't make sense, that terrible things happen to good people, that one thing can change life forever, that we aren't always in control, and that, no, even though people love to say it, things aren't always "meant to be" & "for the best". They already knew all that stuff. Too well.

He is one of the most proud and involved fathers I know. He is also very strong, mentally and physically. And he is lean, muscular, fit, fearless, and seriously fiesty. He doesn't give up. I know that's going to count for so much in the recovery process.

I guess I am asking you to keep my sister and her family in your thoughts and prayers and also that you make a conscious decision to treasure your loved ones every day.

ETA: We really appreciate all your comments and prayers.