a sweet view

This was my view (and constant source of entertainment) as I got ready to go to a local school play...

Note: Other than my usual adjustment of levels, brightness, and contrast, this is (almost) straight out of camera. Jeremy didn't believe me and thought I'd Photoshopped the effect of the foggy mirror.

i {heart} beautiful winter days

Today was good.

Today was fun.

Tomorrow is another one.

(Dr. Seuss)

my new partner in crime

I just set Quincy up with his own space in my craft room. He was thrilled, saying "Now it's Mama and Quincy's office."

My go to guy when I need a corner rounded is just inches away. And he is in sticker and punch heaven.

Hopefully this will translate to more creative time for me...

In five sleeps...

we're off to the States! I've started packing and the line items on the to do list are slowly but surely getting ticked off, thanks in part to a cooperative little boy and a helpful husband. The washing machine has been running almost non-stop since yesterday. In fact, it's still going. We've had terrible weather for much of the last week, but thanks to some serious wind mixed with sun, I managed to dry every single load outside. The clothes we are bringing are now officially out of rotation.

Tomorrow I begin to tackle the five months of journaling that I am behind on on my Project365. Yes, five months, but that's another story.

Back to the trip anticipation... I've learned by now, not to share such information with a young child too early. But I have been dropping hints for a while. Throwing "Cincinnati" into conversation. Bringing up "airplanes" regularly. Showing him photos from our last trip just over a year ago. Talking about family members.

Not surprisingly, he has been studying these photos a lot lately.

Yesterday, I divulged all the details and today he got to begin his countdown.

Tonight as I was leaving his room, he said "And tomorrow we go on the airplane." I gently corrected him and told him tomorrow he got to tear off the yellow number 4. He seemed satisfied. As I was closing the door though, I heard him say quietly, "And then go on the airplane."

So, yes, he's excited. He is expecting Stef to still be at the Wellington airport. But he is also expecting her to be at the Cincinnati airport with Oma and Opa. He is getting mentally prepared for having his nappy changed inside the miniature plane bathroom. He has been warned that even though we are sitting in seats, we have to sleep on the plane. He has also been warned that it's a long way and that we will be in two airports before we reach the one in Cincinnati. We've been talking about using quiet voices on the plane and even though it might be uncomfortable we're going to try not to whine.

He is looking forward to feeding Norwin's piglet, Peter, a bottle. I think he will find a kindred spirit in his animal-lover cousin.

He talks about buying sandals in Cincinnati. (At the start of spring I told him we'd have to wait to buy sandals that fit him in Cincinnati so we'd have to make do. I guess that made an impression! In fact a few weeks later I mentioned needing something and he told me to get it in Cincinnati. Maybe he is expecting one giant mall!)

Oh, and he is talking non-stop about the airplane.

jekyll & hyde

This kid is bugging me, and I only feel mildly guilty for saying that.

(photos taken in a span of a couple minutes)

All the tender moments today were overshadowed by the whiny ones.

In his defense, he does have the first of his two-year molars just barely poking through. But still, chill out boy!

Did you notice his skinny jeans? I tried to put on comfy pants, but, no, he wanted to wear "big papa jeans".

Today was the Queen's birthday, so Jeremy was home. I'm not sure how many times Q said with bright eyes and a smile, "the whole family's here" while tapping our legs.

OK, so I guess he's still a sweetheart.

Maybe I'm the one that needs to chill out! And that is just what I did...I went shopping. Alone.

My aged winter wardrobe is in need of a little spruce up. I made a good start today.

Jeremy, if you're reading, you'll surely choke on the word "start". But don't even get me started on your whisky collection. :)

happy mother's day

It was a happy mother's day here...low key with plenty of time for cuddles.

And I received my first homemade card from the one who made me a mother. A treasure.

I only wish I could have given my mom a hug today.

simple pleasures.

• Hearing the words "thank you mama", especially when they haven't been requested.
• Starting a brand new bar of ecoSTORE soap.



• Realizing you took full advantage of a lone fine day sandwiched between many grim ones.





• Taking a long, hot, (quiet) shower on a cold rainy day.
• Eating your 5+ a day without even realizing it.
• Catching a glimpse of your reflection in your child's eyes.
• Not having to cook dinner all week because your husband made big pots of chicken gumbo and spaghetti bolognese on Sunday. (Even if the okra is kinda stringy by the fourth day:)
• Watching your child's imagination take amazing shape before your eyes.
• Cooking a nutritious lunch and watching a certain someone gobble it up.
• Coming home from a family picnic/dog walk, loading up your photos, and having your heart skip several beats.



• Getting caught up on Project 365. (Well this is a pleasure I hope to experience again by Sunday night. The photos are no problem, it's keeping up with the journaling that I find difficult.)
• Hearing your child's laughter. What sound could be better than that?



• Rediscovering an overlooked photo.

fear and patience

The best part of the day was when I brought Q into bed with me just after seven and we read "yots and yots of yiberry books". It was calm and peaceful. And cozy.

But then as the day progressed I got more and more jumpy. I was literally scared of my own shadow. Everytime I turned toward a glass door, I expected someone to be there. The dogs were feeding off my energy and reacting to every noise outside and that would then make me more nervous. Instead of telling the dogs "quiet" like I used to, I opened the door and sent them out to bark their hearts out and then welcomed them back with resounding "good dogs."

And as my anxiety levels rose, my patience seemed to vanish. I tried to keep my cool as Q poured a bowl of unbeaten eggs onto the counter while he "helped" me bake. I tried to keep my cool as he splashed water out of the sink while he "helped" me wash dishes. I tried to keep my cool while he repeatedly took his road apart and brought me pieces to fix. I tried to keep my cool as we made Jeremy a Valentine's Day card and he accidently knocked the pail of crayons on the floor.

And all along, I kept looking over my shoulder.

self portrait

One day when Quincy is in school and is asked to draw a picture of his mama, this might be the image he has in his head upon which to base his drawing...

I do love my camera, but even so, I hope not.

dreams

Last night Quincy wanted to sleep with his baby for the first time [after feeding him sauce (applesauce) and a bottle. He couldn't go to bed with an empty tum, now could he?]. And he almost certainly dreamt about him.

Meanwhile I was in the next room dreaming about new camera bodies and super-fast lenses.

I found him this morning happy as, standing in bed, still gingerly holding his baby.

The floor was littered with everything else.

speaking of geeks

Oh how I wish this photo was in focus. And oh how I wish I had a D300 or, even better, a D700 camera body with 51 points of auto focus.

A girl can wish.

i may not get the look

but whenever I make reference to a mother while reading a book, Quincy turns to me, pats me, says "mama", and gives me a hug.

Plus I get Eskimo kisses from pirates.

I sure am lucky too.

And as proven by the crow's feet, birthdays come even when we don't want them to.

Last year on my birthday, my mom made me waffles for breakfast and we had La Rosa's pizza for dinner. Yum.

This year it's been a mellow day so far. Listening to the election results on NPR, scrapbooking, taking a long, windy walk by the beach, and stopping for ice cream on the way home. A couple phone calls from near (Upper Hutt) + far (Norway). A few emails from Cincinnati + one from Abu Dhabi. My parents insist it isn't really my birthday yet, so they always call when it is the fifth there, so I get to celebrate for two days.

I feel loved + lucky, despite approaching forty at a far-too-rapid pace.

And now Jeremy is home and it's time to open a package from my mom and a few other gifts and cards that I have been staring at all day with great discipline. We also have to stop by across the road at an election party. And then some takeaways. But first, today's layouts...

vote for us

Two years of campaigning is finally coming to an end. New Zealand has an important general election this Saturday, but there is probably more coverage of the US election! I'm not sure how I would cope with it if I were there. I sent off my absentee ballot just over a week ago. Hopefully it finds its way into the right hands in a timely fashion.

Back to NZ's election. This will be my first time voting here. It's interesting that you don't have to be a citizen to vote, just a permanent resident. Also there is a set amount of time candidates are permitted to campaign. And it's only about a month. Now that I can cope with.

So will Labour's Helen Clark stay on as prime minister? Or will it be National's John Key? Masterpet made a range of "Make 'Em Squeal" dog toys so that canines could have their say.

I for one couldn't help but fall in love with the Green's campaign. How could you not?

And last night I found that you can upload your own image to create a poster. Or four.

But I consider more than beautiful imagery when I decide who gets my vote. I also tend to hold my political views close.

the dentist. round one.

Seems like I have a lot to say about teeth lately!

Round one of the dentist is over, not paid for, but at least the drilling has stopped. The novicaine is wearing off and my teeth hurt like crazy. The following is a reminder to myself, in case I'm too tired to floss at night, or I convince myself that just one Coke a day isn't so bad, or I can't control my sweet tooth. This is not meant to cause dental phobia, however, because going for visits regularly of course prevents decay.

I hate the dentist. What do I hate most? Could it be...

• the dread?
• the walk down the corridor into the office, knowing what awaits?
• those super painful very slow jabs into your gums and cheek?
• the weird numbing sensation?
• the awful sound of the drill?
• the scraping?
• the feeling that you have to swallow but having too much equipment in your mouth to do so?
• the burning smell of the drill after it's been going for far too long?
• all the hands in your mouth?
• never knowing what's coming next?
• the multitude of sharp, scary looking tools that cycle through your mouth?
• when the drill comes back out to get your bite right?
• being forced to hold your mouth open for so long?
• the feeling like it's never going to end?
• the feeling like you're an idiot because you have little control over your tongue and saliva as you try to rinse?
• the news that the holes beneath the old fillings were so close to the nerves that I'll likely lose these two teeth and require root canals?
• the news that the one hole was so big that the gums had grown into the hole? (Did you even know that was possible? I didn't.)
• the pain after the numbing wears off?
• the knowledge that because the fillings were so deep, the pain will stick around for a couple of days?
• the hunger and the well-stocked fridge combined with a jaw that can't even entertain the thought of chewing?
• the awareness that you have to go back and do it all over again in a week and two days?
• the estimated $750 bill? (For both rounds + last week's x-rays.)

Luckily Quincy just woke up happy from a three-hour nap giving me ample time to lie here and feel sorry for myself.

a mother's love

Not a day goes by when I don't think about my mom and how she means the world to me. Even though she is so far away, she still plays a huge role in my everyday life. She truly inspires me to be a better mom and person.

I am so happy and content in my role as mother. I am thankful to my mom for that.

Last year at this time, I was a week away from giving birth. I was filled with such anticipation.

A year later and that anticipation has been replaced by a tremendous amount of love. A love that is unconditional, unquestioning, unwavering, tender, at times overwhelming, and oh so pure.

(note to self: Blog entry composed in my head yesterday as I rocked plagued-with-a-tummy-bug-Quincy to sleep. I could have stayed there forever and a day.)

ten (trivial) wishes

With wishes for things like healed broken hearts and my parents' immortality aside, I wish...

1. I didn't have to trim Quincy's nails.
2. All my photos were organized.
3. I could occasionally walk the dogs during Quincy's nap.
4. I hadn't lost the photos from Quincy's first three months. (Thank goodness for the ones I had uploaded to Flickr.)
5. Our floors were self-cleaning.
6. I didn't have a raging sweet tooth.
7. The laundry would put itself away.
8. The gardens looked like they did when we moved here.
9. I had a working printer.
10. I could have eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Just once.

finally. it arrived.

After a year-and-a-half of one computer problem after the next (endless problems that I can only attribute to hormones), my brand spankin' new (as in not a hand-me-down machine rebuilt from Jeremy's office) Dell laptop has arrived. It is fast. I mean fast. And I love it. Truly. I am seriously digging the Windows Photo Gallery that comes with Vista. I can't wait 'til all my tens of thousands of photos are tagged and ranked. It's a daunting task, but I am just tackling one folder at a time. If I get a couple folders finished each day, maybe by Christmas?! Anyway, it'll make finding photos SO MUCH EASIER. To be able to group and sort by various tags. Dream come true. Plus I can upload photos to Flickr directly from the gallery AND THE TAGS ACCOMPANY THE PICS! The tags are part of the metadata, so they are independent of the program used. Genius.

So my advice... get a photo organizing program stat. And use it. Each and every time you upload your photos. (Other good options: Adobe Photoshop Elements 6 or ACDSee Photo Manager.) Don't forget to back up your pics too, using CDs/DVDs and ideally an external hard drive.

Now, let's see if I can take my own advice!

Anyway, looks like I wasn't the only one who was ecstatic about the courier's visit this morning. I still have no idea how he managed to climb in through the box top.

i'm sorry, baby

Yes, that is me wiping black ink off Q's hand.
Yes, he was v. unhappy about having his little hand stamped for posterity.
Yes, he refused to unclench his fists.
Yes, I was determined to get a perfect handprint.
No, I never got it in the end.

All I got was one very sad baby and a few blotches that resemble paw prints.

Oh, and a lot of guilt.

Notes to self:

1. Don't wait until your future offspring are six weeks old to capture their hand and footprints. A sleepy two-week-old bub would be much more cooperative.


2. I must learn to embrace imperfection.


3. I must learn to embrace imperfection.


4. I must learn to embrace imperfection.

mothers

I have been very fortunate to have so many mothers in my family to observe, learn from, respect, and admire over the years. Now it's my turn. I finally get to join the Club of Mothers.

I certainly have big shoes to fill. I only hope I have learned enough to follow in their footsteps. Sure I will do things my own way and make my own decisions and mistakes, but I am blessed to have such good role models in the motherhood department.

Yes, I have been a dog mama for nearly five years, and this is a role I treasure and take seriously. It too requires patience, hard work, guidance, love, and lots of shuttling around. But I am a nurturer by nature and am so looking forward to adding human mama to one of my many cherished roles in life.

Happy Mother's Day.